A Sexologist Answers all your Burning Questions
We recently posted ‘Ask Me Anything’ on our Instagram page and you sure did — no topic was taboo — from sex drive, to post-birth fears and dryness concerns. The questions kept rolling in and boy, our DM’s lit up, big-time. Luckily, we had sex expert and all-round incredible femme, Chantelle Otten, on hand to respond. These questions and concerns listed below beautifully highlight just how much our vulva goes through. This is exactly why Lindy launched FIG. Perhaps your skin is literally burning down there from a torturous wax or IPL session? Or dealing with post-birth trauma or even serious post-spin class chafe? Our skin-soothing RESTORE Mask was designed to not only encourage intimate me-time (and conversations around it), but ultimately to make your vulva skin feel hydrated, soothed, and calmed.
Enjoy the below Q&A and if you didn’t get the chance to ask your question then please email or DM us, we’re hoping to do more of these illuminating sessions.
“I'm a 34-year-old woman who's never orgasmed. I get so close, but it gets too intense and I can't quite make it. Any suggestions or tips? X”
“What is your mind doing when you masturbate? Are you fully focused on your body, your sensations, or is your mind stressed about the orgasm? So often we can mentally ‘psych’ ourselves out of pleasure. You also might need some outside help to get you out of your own head and back into your body. And, you're not alone in this, it’s super-common!” – Chantelle Otten (CO)
“I’m feeling very dry after menopause both when having sex and just in general.”
“Honey, how normal! I would recommend seeing an endocrinologist to help with some topical hormones for your coochie. Plus, putting some olive oil or coconut oil down there daily (or treating yourself to a vulva mask) will help ease the discomfort.” – CO
“Want to bring a third person into the bedroom (post lockdown). How do I talk to my partner on this?”
“I always think back to when, at school, we were taught to give feedback like a sandwich. Something positive, followed by the feedback, and ending with another positive note. I think this is a great format when we want to try something new in the bedroom. Name what you already love about your sex life together, then bring in why you want to try this exciting new thing (for both you and them), and then end with another amazing positive thing they already do.”– CO
“My gynaecologist recommends using QV down there for dryness. Is that common?”
“Dryness is common and QV wash is fine. I would also recommend some olive oil for dryness down there and you can also try the FIG sheet mask for vulva care.” – CO
“I have never orgasmed with a partner and I’ve all but given up.”
“While this can be hugely frustrating, there are things we can do! However, they will vary for each individual struggling to reach orgasm. So maybe it's time to reach out to a professional for help. Often we find that women can orgasm by themselves, but not with a partner, and that means that they need some help gaining confidence in communicating needs and wants in the bedroom, plus some helpful techniques that a partner can use to help you reach a big ‘O’.” - CO
“My daughter just got her period and I want her to celebrate. Is your mask okay for younger skin?”
“Yes! FIG Femme ingredients are gentle on the skin and should be appropriate for your daughter. Teaching her vulva care early is great! If she doesn’t vibe it, then no problem, maybe she will want to try when she is older.” - CO
“I’m 3 months post-partum and do NOT want to have sex yet. Is that normal?”
“Completely! Your body has gone through a massive transformation and, realistically, a bit of trauma. You're allowed to want to give your body time and space to recover. Just reflect on why you don’t want to have sex, as the ‘why’ is often the important part.” – CO
“I want to watch porn with my partner, but he gets upset when I tell him. Whhhy?”
“Maybe he doesn’t like porn? Maybe he only likes specific porn? Maybe he’s worried he’s not satisfying you sexually on his own? Honestly, it could be any reason! You need to sit down (not in the bedroom) and have an open and honest conversation around why he feels this way. If he cannot communicate verbally, ask him to write you a letter (and give him a deadline).” - CO
United Kingdom