The physical (and intangible) tools to rediscover your most authentic self, according to a woman who has built her life on buoying others.
There are those junctures in life when self, romance and career all simultaneously feel askew. Things grow off-kilter and you feel your absolute sense of self slipping inexorably further away. It’s in these pivotal downwards spirals that other people — particularly, women — can have the ability to hoist and help each other up, through listening, conversing and learning to love again.
Alina Rose Berdi has been tapping into the unrivalled power of something she calls “feminine energy” to enhance the romantic and professional lives. Usually, it’s for women who are grappling with that inevitable ‘lost’ feeling, or that irking imposter sensation we all encounter from time to time. Her digital presence is a shrine to female empowerment, positive mantras and harnessing your “goddess energy” within.
What may seem superficial and lofty at first glance to some is in fact a meaningful and heavily-researched psychology and philosophy that Alina lives by. Her eponymous coaching business exists to embolden clients on their romantic pursuits, validating the search for love as an often complex and turbulent process in life. We’re sometimes afraid to admit how desperate and innate our desire to be loved (and feel self-love) is, but Alina has carved a space to acknowledge that.
At Fig Femme, the intimate self-cultivation rituals we put in place to better connect with our body, our mind, and that intangible sense of “energy” are just as paramount. Whether it’s candlelit bath-time rituals or the shared experiences we nurture through connecting with other women (like Alina and her clients), introspection and indulgence are usually the best ways to reset the proverbial ‘switch’.
It’s no surprise that Alina has picked up on the synergy between “small luxuries” and significant personal breakthroughs. Here, she lends us some of her well-honed advice on trusting intuition, reaching our romantic potential, and fostering purposeful habits to heal. We’re passing the god-tier advice over to you, from business-founding, to setting honest intentions and integrating private pampering (like that of Fig Femme) into your everyday.
Alina, hello! Your Insta bio speaks of ‘tapping into the power of your feminine wisdom’. What exactly is this?
Hi Fig Femmes! Feminine wisdom is accessed through our bodies — through senses, hunches and feelings. It is not knowledge that is in the mind, but rather subtle signals that rely on a more energetic intelligence system.
How can we harness that feminine wisdom to transform our lives?
By slowing down. Receiving and feeling. It’s almost like learning a new language to understand how your sensual hunches speak to you. Is it through goosebumps? A stillness in a part of your body? A surge of energy on your skin?
By living more in our bodies and in the moment (there are embodiment and mediation practices I can share to help you with this!), anyone can gain access to an ancient energy current that is aligned with our destiny and our Higher Self. So, we transform our lives by following these subtle messages, moment by moment, and through seeing the new adventures to where that leads us. Yes, this could take us out of that comfort zone, but right into the magical place we’re meant to be!
How did you launch your own personal coaching platform and build a brand around yourself? The intention was never to build a brand around myself, but rather share the behavioural sciences, somatic and positive psychology tools I have been learning and applying in my own life since 2004. However, I realised recently that my work has built more and more on my resonance and the lived experiences I share with my clients. There is absolutely nothing I recommend, coach around or teach that I haven’t been through — and come out the other side — myself. So it’s almost like, I’m the ‘muse’ and testing ground for what I’m about to show you.
What are some of the most moving or rewarding journeys you’ve helped other women on?
There seem to be two clear threads to my work. The first one is helping women embody their feminine energy in the workplace to transform their path and fast-track their success. Access to feminine-based wisdom allows women to fulfil their life path, even in traditional male-dominated environments in a way that is connected and fortifying, rather than stressful or depleting. This is because Feminine Intelligence is accessed through the heart, which is the focal point of intuition, connection and intimacy. It allows us to foster truly human, rather than transactional relationships. Greater intuition means women work smarter, not harder. This also means we are better poised to avoid burnout, and have the inner resources to navigate challenging workplace situations with grace.
The second journey my clients and I go on (which is actually my greatest joy), is the fulfilment of romantic potential. To love and relate to another is an art form, a delicate dance between two tender individuals, to be handled with care. I help women navigate this dance with more sensitivity, sensuality, passion, empathy and personal worth, which means more fortifying and deep connections that lead to longevity and emotional and sexual fulfilment — even in a world that pressures intimate connections through it’s endless pressures.
Best relationship advice you’ve received?
Sometimes, it is better to walk away from a conflict, allow space and fill your cup with lots of self care. Come back to the conversation with more perspective and grace. We don’t always need to communicate then and there, or have long, drawn out D&Ms. Space can be a healer.
And the best you’ve given?
Our partners are not robots, put on this earth to fulfil our endless romantic fantasies. They get tired, stressed and overwhelmed by life, too, craving retreat. So if they're being a bit distant, why not check in and see if they're okay? Send some soup, wine or chocolate their way, instead of writing the relationship off and shutting down, assuming they don’t care. This advice has always worked a treat to revive many wonderful relationships that were assumed to be ‘over’. Pride can be a great barrier to intimacy!
How do you manage to keep up with over 10k followers and social media pressures while running a biz?
Running a biz and keeping up with followers is all the same — it’s just connecting with people. At the end of the day, it’s all about soulful conversations, and they happen on any forum. I feel like everyone is my friend. A beautiful person who engages with my feed holds much energy and fascination for me. I don’t treat people like numbers, as everyone has a story and magic to them. Other business stuff like EDM, admin, techy things — I’m about to hire a gun VA to help with all that as my new program The Diamond Codes is growing!
How have you dealt with skeptics who don’t believe in personal coaching?
Where are they? Haven’t met any! When I started in coaching in the early 2000s, it was so new and I was so young, so I wasn't taken seriously. But I thought it was such a cool new job, helping people reach their dreams. I just focused on the clients I’ve had and kept going.
I think the challenge has been to explain ‘feminine energy’ in the past, however neuroscience and heart intelligence research is helping with that. We are now understanding there is wisdom outside the mind, that the heart has a magnetic force that can be measured and that 'soft power’ is a term that even corporates are starting to use.
What are some of the biggest routines/rituals you put in place for self-cultivation and luxuriation?
I just adore small luxuries! As much as possible, I want my beauty to be cruelty free, so I LOVE anointing myself with Indie Rose Ritual Oils, or lighting a fragrant candle from Body By Bonnee or Allure Candle Co. I’m partial to a Tom Ford candle from Mecca. I just love the boujee brands, but try to get them second hand as much as possible.
I always do my hair and make up, (even when in lockdown), and dress up in beautiful cotton pyjamas or a silk robe when working from home. Fabrics and fragrance matter on my mood! I keep my apartment fabulous and clean and full of art and books. Beauty and culture really inspire me, as do old sartorial eras, so I love the pin up aesthetic. 1920s - 1960s is my fashion mood.
You've been a long-time fan of the FIG Femme collection. Can you tell us what initially drew you to the range and why you like to gift new clients the Mask?
I love that it’s a thoughtful, luxurious range made by women, for women. The sensitivity and care really translates in both the conversations, the formula and the packaging. My favourite is the mask, because I found it so decadent to pamper and use it on my body. I just really want to give my friends and clients this experience. It’s not something you would think to buy or treat yourself to, but then using it makes you feel truly feminine and special. You’re welcome, ladies.